Tom Daley had a disappointing day in the pool yesterday but despite that 4th dive he looked truly magnificent in his teeny Stella McCartney swimming pants. It got me thinking though, after the post I did on different swimwear for different body types for women, what should men wear on the beach? And is it ever acceptable to wear teeny tiny budgie-crushers on the beach – or even a male thong…?

Oh and Stella McCartney wants everyone to know she didn’t design the white and gold Team GB tracksuits (they were designed by NEXT) – she did the athletes’ sportswear – so we can thank her for Tom Daley’s tiny union jack trunks

So this is what I think…

Short swimming briefs (budgie crushers)

While these are great if you’re an Olympic diver and (I guess) great if you want an almost-all over tan, they’re also a bit scary. If you’re Ronaldo or Mateo from Benedorm they’re fine but otherwise only if you’re very confident and very buff!

Extremely short tight shorts

Woah – sorry, but no. Somehow these are worse than tiny swim pants!

Basic swimming shorts

Phew, we’re getting back to normal. Boys these are just FINE. We can all relax if you wear these on the beach!

Short swimming shorts

Hmm, a bit riskier than regular short (above) as there’s a significant risk of gaping and that nasty through-netting view *shudder*. Best avoided. If you want baggy shorts make them a little longer please!

These short shorts are tighter so there’s less risk of gaping, but they are tight, pink and tailored so you would probably need to be Roger Federer to get away with these.

Board shorts

Definitely the best option in my opinion. Even David Beckham (who could wear anything he likes) chooses long shorts on the beach, and for good reason.

Mens swim thong

And last of all, and I’m sorry for photo everyone, but I think it illustrates why no man should ever wear a swim thong. Never ever OK. sorry…

What do you think? Do you agree? Which is your favourite style for the beach?